This week's Free Shirt Tuesday challenge was a bit of a change up from our normal trivia question format. This week it was all about creativity, we asked you all to create the most ridiculously clever, stupid, funny, or inventive superhero & superpower(s). Our favorite would be deemed the winner.
But before we jump right to the winning submission. There were a few good entries, so we wanted to at least give a shout out to our runner-up:
Jason Z. (@probablyjason) out of Boulder, Co. who amused us with a pretty ridiculous Superhero concept, that gave us a good laugh:
Irrelephant is an elephant.
...and a superhero.
...and it doesn't matter.
...because that's his superpower
(criminals don't pay him any attention, and then he stomps on them)
Irrelephant!
Do you not see the genius in that? An elephant who's power is to go relatively unnoticed in most situations, until he's thwarted the criminal by bludgeoning them ... I guess. It's funny because it's got to be nearly impossible to overlook an elephant in any setting, unless you're in a herd of other elephants.
Anyway, Jason we thought it was funny. While it was funny, it just couldn't quite match the sheer ridiculousness of the winning entry:
Congrats to Joe K. (@krabbs) from Gwynn Oak, MD. Joe's superhero boasts an impressive range of weaponry, a protective shell, and a vocabulary that throws his enemy's mind for a loop. All-in-all, Joe's ridiculously bad-ass, and funny (when you think about it) superhero is pretty impressive ... to say the least:
When I am not the overly sarcastic, yet mild-mannered Joe K., I reveal my true self. Whether lurking in the shadows taking down underhanded criminals, taking down evil CEO's and their corporations, or killing the cat that gets stuck in the tree (because really...who likes cats? Evil CEO's and their corporations...that’s who. Oh...and crazy cat ladies. But who gives a shit about them? They smell to high heaven.), the superhero known as Krabbs strives to better the world, one city at a time.
Enter Rogue Falls: The Disturbance has set his mind on destroying the beautiful city and its gun-wielding squirrels. Due to a drug trip/science experiment gone horribly wrong (or incredibly right), I have gained the ability to create a hard shell around my torso that will deflect all bullets that are not either really high caliber or fired at point blank range. I also have the uncanny ability to find someone’s insecurity and exploit it, either having the effect of completely breaking their will or at least giving me a chance to distract them and foil their elaborately evil plan. In addition to these powers, I have had luck in the real estate market (pre-market crash) and was able to invest in a seemingly endless supply of firearms and weapons. Included in my arsenal are several fully automatic rifles, pistols that can be stashed anywhere, rocket launchers, RPG’s, flame throwers, and ninja stars amongst other things (I can’t tell you everything, or else I would have to kill you. And I’m a superhero, not a super villain, so I can’t do that.). The crown jewel, however, is my phase cannon. It is a weapon that can phase through matter (i.e. - I can shoot it through a wall without disturbing the wall, but blow the living Jebus out of my target.). It must be used by an expert because a miscalculation could blow up the school full of deaf children instead of the villain using their audio lab as his base. Being an expert marksman, I have yet to misfire (except for that one time on Three Mile Island, but you can’t really change the past, can you? But hey…at least it was an island). I also have sick car. It’s a 1968 Camaro SS painted red with white racing stripes. It has unbreakable tires, concealed rocket launchers and, while not bullet proof, has a magnetic shield around it that draws bullets into ‘dead zones’ that will not impede use of the car nor endanger the driver.
In short, I fight whatever crime there is to be fought using my hard shell as protection (that’s what she said?), my ability to exploit insecurities, and my highly developed arsenal and car. I’m pretty sure that The Disturbance will not be a nuisance to Rogue Falls for very long.
Slow-clap. Well done Joe, I ran out of breath reading all of that. I think my favorite part is that while the outrageously bad-ass Krabbs has an immense arsenal of weaponry, a seemingly endless stream of cashflow (by-way of his predatory lending practices), and a car that can neutralize bullets, his protective shell
only covers his torso. That's like the Superhero Gods are playing a cruel joke on him, like in Dumb and Dumber, "What if he shot me in the face?", "That was a risk we were willing to take". Ultimately Krabbs won us over because of the fact that he takes time to not only catch dirty criminals but to also take care of those pesky cats getting stuck in trees ... seriously, if you're a cat and you're dumb enough to get stuck in a tree, I think it's fair to say you deserve to die anyway.
Anyway, congrats Joe on the win. Jason, better luck next time, it was a valiant effort but at the end the power of Krabbs was too much for the mighty Irrelephant (you shoulda aimed for the head).
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Thanks to everyone who played and don't forget to play again next week, as we'll be giving away more free gear and all you have to do is answer a few easy questions! Follow us on Twitter @rogue_squirrel or right here on the official Rogue Squirrel Blog to stay up-to-date on all things RS.
